Is it Christmas?

A rant. Read if you want to spoil your party

I seriously doubt that it's Christmas. But for the 10 days off I have from my work, everything seems usual. I have been killing myself at the gym since the last 3 weeks because I have to compete in a regional power lifting championship in the 2nd week of January. I have been writing, feeling a bit down, deleting, feeling a bit happy and then writing again, over the past few weeks. All I think about is essays; anything I have on mind is related to b-school; what I have in my hands is a qwerty keyboard and a barbell.

As MFT once said 'why drink when you can improve yourself?', I will follow his advice. On this Christmas and New years eve I will work at improving myself, at taking a step towards achieving my goal, at doing something that I really want, at spending time on the things I really care about. These days, I find no difference between 5:00AM, when I jog 5kms in the chilly December winter and 11:00PM on a Friday night, when I'm busy editing my essays. There is a rage within, a little beast inside with a sledge hammer constantly pounding my heart. Every time I think about pulling the little b*****d out and snapping his neck, he seems to be getting bigger and stronger. He's there everywhere - in my sleep, at the newspaper stand, in my closet. I feel a connection between me and him. Sometimes, he seems to be feeding on me. Sometimes, I feel I'm feeding on him. I think about how to get rid of him, forget him or beat him to death with an axe. But I don't seem to get the courage. Then I start taking care of him, think about ways in which I can put him to some good use, and he concurs. At whatever task I put my mind to, he gives me the energy of a hurricane and the focus of a monk to move ahead. I don't feel anything upon seeing those things that disturb most of my friends. I've lost the ability to feel, to smile and to cry.

You people enjoy Christmas and New Year. It comes only once in a year!

Adios,

Unplugged

Sorry for the abrupt ending....